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March 2003 Issue

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On the Lighter Side

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bulletWho was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
bulletWho was the first one who thought that the white thing that came from a hen's butt looked edible?
bulletWhy do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no human being would eat?
bulletWhy is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
bulletIf Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
bulletCan a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
bulletIf the professor on Gilligan's Island made a radio out of coconut, why couldn't he fix the hole in the boat?
bulletWhy does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
bulletWhat do you call male ballerinas?
bulletIf Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme stuff, why didn't he just buy himself dinner?
bulletWhy is a person that handles your money called a Broker?
bulletIf quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
bulletIf corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
bulletIf a man is talking in the forest, and no woman is there to hear him, is he still wrong?
bulletIs Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
bulletWhy do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
bulletDo illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
bulletDid you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?


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